Self-love and self-respect are essential if you want to be happy with someone else. I’ve come to realize that you can’t love another person truly until you love yourself. More importantly, as my Tia once put it, “you should be someone who thinks your shit don’t stink.”
I wanted to write about how long it took me to get over my last relationship. How I, pathetically, despite being starkly aware of the absence of the aforementioned qualities, held onto my feelings for a person for an unnaturally long time. I wanted to write about how I regretted not being able to express myself fully because I always had this fear of being rejected. Or how I feared so much that he would leave me for someone else. Or how he made feel like I was never “good enough” for him (and only because I had already felt that way all by myself). I wanted to write about how I would have done anything for a person who sometimes made me feel like I was just a pain in the ass. How I settled for this muted severance in place of the uninterrupted connection I want to experience with someone.
Instead, I want to say that at this point in my life, I feel whole. I don’t want to compare myself with anyone else. When I meet someone I really dig, I want him to see me for who I am. And if I accept someone with all his bullshit imperfections, I will only expect him to do the same for me. I am incredibly imperfect and that is okay. I would like to feel loved deeply, someday. And right now I am working on loving me so that maybe if I come across that kind of affection, I can let that in without feeling empty when that person is gone. Unrequited love was a bitch, but it made me a better woman.
No comments:
Post a Comment