Licensed Madness

Right now I’m working retail part-time and going to school full-time. It’s kind of tiring, but as many people like to point out, apparently they have it “harder.” So I don’t complain. I have to do what I have to do, right? The rant that follows is just that. It’s my venting. Let me put this rant into context, so you know where I am coming from.

I am used to people making me feel like I “have it easy.” Ex’s, friends, family...they all at some point have reminded me that I have it “easy.” AND compared to most people, I do. HOWEVER, there are certain things that I had to deal with on my own recently that (with the help of only a few people) were still difficult things to endure. In the midst of dealing with this, I was taking exams and making decent grades. I was writing and reading. I was acting like I was “fine.” I’m proud of myself because, for the most part, I didn’t take out my stress on other people. I didn’t belittle others just because I felt like shit about my situation. I have it easy, but my life’s not perfect and I TOO have issues, real issues. Not boyfriend problems (even though that’s a distraction for all of us). Anyway, my point is that, I have problems but I recognize that other people are not the cause of those issues and that making others feel like shit NEVER makes me feel better. EVER. SO..

Working retail has afforded me great insight into this thing we call “the human condition.” It seems as though retail is one of those social settings that kind of skews the laws of human interaction. I don’t mind working in customer service because you can learn so much from people. It also has allowed me to see how far people move in the spectrum (from humane to inhumane) given the “license” to do so.

I say inhumane but maybe I could use disrespectful? I used "inhumane" because it takes a level of conscious dehumanization to operate the way some customers do. If you ever worked retail, you know that people can be so fucking rude and so fucking rotten and we “have” to endure it to some degree. Sometimes, we bite back, but for the most part, we put up with a lot of shit. Don’t you feel like there is something wrong with us a society? Like, why is this exchange normal and expected? Why does one avenue exist where we put on a uniform and people are rewarded or consoled when they behave in a manner that they normally would not amongst family or friends or neighbors?  It’s funny because we refer to these assholes as “customers” when we complain, but would it be much more affecting to call them “people.” If you say aloud: “Today, I was at work and some man became upset at me for having to impose something on him, so this person began to yell at me or say things to me that I did not necessarily mean to provoke.” My friend told me that a woman once threw purses at her. Isn’t that childlike? Children do shit like that. However, these people exercise some illusionary authority over other people who do not deserve it, and then they walk out of there and live out their lives acting like that experience has nothing to do with them in “real life.” It’s nuts. 

Sometimes there are people who like to talk to you like you are beneath them. A white woman uses her best vocabulary and addresses me a little less colloquially and seems real proud of her vernacular. I persist on using double negatives and saying “yeah” instead of “yes” or “good” and not “well” when asked how I am, (which “good” is fucking grammatically correct). I’m sorry but having your degree is sometimes circumstantial and in no way representative of true intelligence. Yes, you can condescend and be curt in your “formal” language to this short, brown Mexicamericana BUT that only reveals your own limitations and exactly how you are no exception, just a product of your middle class education. 

Anyway, I don’t want to go on and on about all of the rude things that people do when I put on my apron. I just want to say that: treating people less like people is just that. It’s not “customer service.” Why should we create an environment for people to act abusive solely because of money? It’s crass. I want to end my rant on a positive note. I see a lot of great people. Single parents who come and by carts of clothes for their kids and nothing for themselves. I see a lot of beautiful, unique young women who have such style and carry themselves with an air of confidence that makes you so proud to be female. I talk to many non-native speakers who are so open to my broken Spanish and laugh with me when I pronounce things like bumbling fool and manage to get by in a society that seems to treat multilingualism with such partial care.

People are people.